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Massive Spill From Trump’s Sh!thole to Cost Billions in USD (U.S. Dignity)

Officials continue to scramble over what’s being called the largest Trump shithole spill of the year. As we continue to learn more about the far-reaching effects of the shithole disaster, conflicting reports are pouring in from all sides. Many republicans and Trump supporters are assuring us that the latest shithole spill is of relatively minor […]

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Barron Trump, 11, Falls Asleep with Cigarette in Mouth, Sets Trump Tower Fire!

When the smoke began billowing from the top of Trump Tower shortly before 7am, the New York City Fire Department responded to what they reported to be an electrical fire in a cooling tower. The cover story spread like wildfire through the Fake News media outlets, but a NotYourPrez.com Totally NOT Fake News investigation uncovered […]

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Trump Establishes Commission to Develop Hip, Fresh Insults for 2018

“The phrase ‘Fake News’ is so 2017,” White House Press Secretary Sara Sanders said in a New Year’s Eve press conference. “While America celebrates the coming new year tonight, the president is hard at work tonight coming up with new nicknames for the media, and better insults for his enemies. Even his holidays are spent […]

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Trump Calls in 40,000 More Troops For ‘War On Christmas’

Violence continues to escalate throughout the United States, as militant secularists calling themselves the Children of Santa, continue to clash with militant religionists known as the Nativity Liberation Front. What began many years ago as a disagreement over whether to say “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holiday”, has morphed into yet another hot button political issue […]

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Trump Gives Mueller List of Forbidden Words Including: ‘Russia’, ‘Collusion’, ‘Election’, and ‘Lying’

Days after issuing a list of seven forbidden words & phrases to the CDC, the Trump administration nervously issued a similar word ban to the Special Counsel just hours after reiterating that Robert Mueller would not be fired. The list not only includes the words Russia, collusion, election, lying, but also the names ‘Donald Trump’, […]

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GOP Members Call for Trump Resignation for Not Actually Grabbing Accusers by the Pu**y

“Of course the president’s accusers are lying,” Sarah Sanders responded to the numerous sexual assault allegations being leveled at President Trump during yesterday’s press conference . “The proof is that none of them are claiming to have been groped in that special place where he likes to grab ‘em. We all know where that is, […]

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President Grounded from Twitter After Weekend Rant

Speculation began Monday morning when it was noted that the President had not tweeted in over twelve minutes. “Is @realDonaldTrump even still alive?” @BallsDeepInYaMom tweeted, appearing to be the first to take note of the president’s absent twitter voice. Within moments #WhereIsRealDonaldTrump began trending, as tens of thousands began tweeting questions and theories ranging from […]

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Trump to Pardon Judge Roy Moore Instead of Thanksgiving Turkey

Amid mounting accusations that could sink the senatorial ambitions of Alabama’s Judge Roy Moore, president Trump has invited the embattled judge to take the place of the turkey on the White House lawn. “I don’t want to pardon the turkey,” Trump told the press, “I want to eat the turkey. It’s going to the best […]

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GOP to Enact Tougher Restrictions on the Mentally Ill

Taking a cue from President Trump’s statement that mass shootings are a “mental health”, rather then a “gun” issue, the GOP took immediate action to put an end to the mentally ill violence plaguing the country. “We’re looking for common sense mentally ill control,” said Senator Ted Cruz (R- TX). “We’ve seen enough of these […]

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Melania Trump Glad For A Day to Fly Broom Without Judgment

The magic broom has been sitting in the closet since the election, occasionally used by White House staff to sweep up the back hair often shed by president Trump when he gets too hot. But today it finally leaves it’s muggle confines, and take to the skies. The First Lady couldn’t be more delighted. “It’s […]

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