All Caps Trump Tweet So Loud, Wakes Iranian President


Iranian President Rouhani slept deeply during his midday nap on Monday, (reportedly dreaming of U.S., Iranian, and Israeli puppies playing together in a field full of flowers) when the angry Trump tweet blasted from the cellphone of a sleeping concubine, jarring him awake. It was a furious tirade against the Iranian president set in all-caps to capture the essence of the president’s mood. “It was so loud, I thought the Mother of All Wars was underway,” Rouhani commented later.

Trump’s late night all-caps rant reportedly comes in responds to President Rouhani’s warning that any U.S. attack will be eternally regrettable. However, inside sources tell Totally NOT Fake News that the president had just finished an exhausting, long day of making America great again, and grew ornery while waiting on white house staff to prepare his bowl of Spaghetti O's. He took it out on Iran.

“We now know that the American President means business,” an Iranian ambassador responded. “Of course, we couldn’t take his normal threats seriously, because he’s always threatening people, but when he threatened us in all caps, we knew it was serious.”

Trump felt better after eating, and was unaware that he had tweeted anything at all, saying he was blackout hangry.

Rouhani, meanwhile, had his concubine imprisoned for following an American president on twitter. Those close to him say he is just ornery from not getting in a good nap, and that the concubine would be released from prison later in the day.

“You Americans have this guy that melts down every week in charge of the largest nuclear arsenal on the planet, yet you’re afraid of us having nukes?” Rouhani spat.

“Our apologizes for that,” his ambassador nervously laughed, hoping to avoid another all caps tweet. “Our great leader could not get back to sleep this afternoon, and has been cranky all day.”

Rouhani wasn’t the only one who suffered the blistering all caps rage. The tweet also blacked out the entire Eastern Seaboard, and caused a 7.4 magnitude earthquake in Senegal, wiping out a vast slum, leaving 130,000 inhabitants even more homeless than they were before. Crews are working around the clock to restore power to the east coat, and international aid organizations put the estimated damage in Senegal at $128.