Amid NFL Controversy, Search for Nambia Continues
“We’re not going to let Nambia get away with that great healthcare system,” vowed president Trump at Monday’s press conference. “We can’t let America hating football players distract us from the real issue, which is finding Nambia.” After holding White House briefings over outburst regarding the NFL player protests, Trump called a press conference. While the press corps expected a statement regarding those briefings, what they got instead left them stunned.
The president informed the press that he had taken immediate action on the search for Nambia, ordering all information to be brought forward. Confused U.S. intelligence agencies could only produce an empty file folder with “Nambia” written in pen on the front.
After having been informed repeatedly by press corps members that Nambia does not actually exist, Trump responded by calling them “Fake News”.
“A country that doesn’t exist can’t possibly have a great healthcare system, can they?” the president shot back. “But we KNOW Nambia has amazing healthcare, therefore they exist. And we’re gonna find them!”
“The room actually fell silent,” FOX News correspondent John Roberts later told NotYourPrez.com Totally NOT Fake News. “The irrefutable logic of the president shut the mouths of the liberal media. They couldn’t respond at all!”
Meanwhile, Infowars.com’s Alex Jones lashed out at the intelligence community, accusing them of withholding pertinent information regarding the missing nation, and blasting them for engaging in a massive cover-up.
“These agencies have been stonewalling the Trump administration since he took office!” he exclaimed on his radio show. “Their job is just to make Trump look like an idiot so they can start a civil war, which will provide them the pretext for declaring martial law and usher in the New World Order!”
The Trump children also did their part by taking to the streets, stapling “missing” posters to light poles, and handing them out to whoever would take one. They are offering a $500 dollar reward for whoever finds and returns Nambia.