GOP Members Call for Trump Resignation for Not Actually Grabbing Accusers by the Pu**y


“Of course the president’s accusers are lying,” Sarah Sanders responded to the numerous sexual assault allegations being leveled at President Trump during yesterday’s press conference . “The proof is that none of them are claiming to have been groped in that special place where he likes to grab ‘em. We all know where that is, and yet these women are claiming that he grabbed or kissed them elsewhere? Their stories simply do not add up.” It was a shocking revelation that seemed to put a dent in the accusers’ stories, but others are not so sure. Top GOP congressmen are worried that it could be Trump who is lying about “grabbin’ ‘em by the pu**y” to begin with.

Rep. Joe Barton (R-Texas) went on Sean Hannity last night to call for an immediate Congressional investigation into the matter.

“We need to know whether the president actually likes grabbing pu**y or not. It’s going to be crucial to the rest of his presidency.”

“I just don’t think I can respect him as president if he doesn’t actually like grabbin’ ‘em by the pu**y,” Hannity agreed. “What kind of man is he if he doesn’t?”

“That’s right,” Rep. Barton continued, “Grabbin’ ‘em by the pu**y is essential. I think if these allegations are true, and he’s not actually grabbin’ anyone by the pu**y, he should resign.”

Even Trump's base of supporters are feeling the pressure brought on by the accusations.

“If we can’t trust him about his love of grabbin’ 'em by the pu**y, then what else is he not being open with the American people about?” Trump supporter Joe Bob Arnold shared with Totally NOT Fake News. “It’s disappointing to me, and a terrible example for my two boys. To us, it was a metaphor for having the confidence to take what you want in life, and now we don’t know what to believe anymore.”

Executive Editor of the popular magazine ‘Pu**y Grabbers Gentleman’s Quarterly”, Sneaky Pete, had featured President Trump on the cover every other month since the November 2016 issue.

“Maybe he isn’t the pu**y grabber we all thought he was,” Sneaky Pete told told us. “If the allegations of kissing and grab-assing are all true, then we owe a huge apology to our readers. He will have brought shame upon pu**y grabbers everywhere, and that’s truly disgusting.”