New Poll: 0% Shocked That Another Trump Nominee Has Charge of Sexual Assault


Facing a public, and Democrat Senate weary of scandal & sexual assault accusations seeming to surround every member of Trump’s administration, getting any nominee through the process is going to be a tough task for the president. And insiders say that this was the driving force behind the Kavanaugh nomination. “Initially we were concerned about nominating someone who didn’t have the prestigious history of assault that the President likes to see in his nominees,” explained Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, “but we felt this was a good middle ground. With only one sex assault accusation behind him, we thought Democrats would just let him pass.”

Trump himself, along with several current & former members of his administration have been mired in various scandals. Many say it would be completely out of Trump’s character to nominate someone who wasn’t followed by some scandal or another, believing that scandal builds character, and testifies to a prospects ability to overcome adversity.

“What do liberals want from people?” former FOX News personality, Bill O’Reilly, asked Totally NOT Fake News. “Do they want someone who has never assaulted anyone? Typical liberals demanding the impossible!”

“They democrats are clearly obstructing here,” Sarah Huckabee Sanders to the White House Press Corps. “They have expressed a desire for a nominee completely without a charge of sexual misconduct, and we met them halfway with a candidate that has only one accuser. Judge Kavanaugh is the best we can do.”