Massive Spill From Trump’s Sh!thole to Cost Billions in USD (U.S. Dignity)


Officials continue to scramble over what’s being called the largest Trump shithole spill of the year. As we continue to learn more about the far-reaching effects of the shithole disaster, conflicting reports are pouring in from all sides. Many republicans and Trump supporters are assuring us that the latest shithole spill is of relatively minor consequence. Some are even denying that a shithole spill even occurred at all. However, many opponents of Trump’s shithole are saying the latest spill is catastrophic in scope, and cleanup could be in the tens of billions in lost American dignity.

“We’ve pleaded with him continually not to be so reckless with his shithole,” said Rep. Al Greene, D-TX. “Now we’re all covered in it.”

While details are murky at this point, what we know for sure is that the latest spill erupted from Trump’s shithole during an immigration meeting last week. The discharge splattered all over everyone present in the meeting, before overflowing from the room to deluge the Internet.

It’s estimated that Trump’s shithole discharged 20 trillion gallons of rancor & bigotry, into the national news cycle.

“Shithole is the word of the week,” said Leslie Knope, Director of Federal Parks. “Little African, El Salvadorian, and Haitian kids are learning ‘shithole’ as their first English word. That’s the real disaster here.”

While leaks from Trump’s shithole are relatively common, the spills are usually small, and easily contained. But the latest spill has given many causes for concern. Some are calling for stricter regulations on Trump’s shithole. Others believe that more stringent safety measures should be put in place.

“I don’t think new shithole regulations are the answer,” said Republican senator Mike Lee. “Trump, and the people behind his shithole just need to filter it better. We already have industrial strength filters available; politicians have been using them effectively for years. Even if that doesn’t work, his shithole can be plugged up completely.”

Republicans especially are looking anywhere for shithole solutions, even tapping into South American prisons to consult with expert hostage taker, Román Calzado, to learn the proper method to effectively gagging a shithole, and preventing any sound at all.

Others are consulting professional Chinese organ thieves on the feasibility of removing vocal cords, and thereby rendering the shithole harmless. But as yet, not decisions on how to deal with the currently shithole crises are forthcoming.

“The shithole spill has drenched all of us,” Delores Clairbourne, Deputy Director of Mad Mothers Against Shithole Spills shared with Totally NOT Fake News. “All I’ve heard from my children this week is ‘shithole’ this, and ‘shithole’ that. Even Sesame Street has introduced a character called Shithole, to help children cope with this disaster. When are we going to finally begin to address the issue of shithole safety?”

It is estimated the latest Trump shithole spill will take weeks, if not months to clean up.