Melania Trump Buys New Hurricane Shoes Ahead of Irma


As Florida braces for the potentially catastrophic Irma, state, local, and federal authorities rush to prepare, including the First Lady. Melania Trump wasted no time in rushing out to secure a new pair of shoes to aid in the impending rescue efforts. “The first lady is more careful about the choice of footwear after the last debacle,” White House Communications Director, Hope Hicks said Tuesday morning. “The social media backlash for wearing high heels on the way to assist with hurricane Harvey was a costly lesson, and we’re going to be more careful about disaster apparel in the future.”

As Irma approaches the coast, Melania brought in a team of shoe advisors to assist in choosing the proper shoe, and avoid the media calamity brought on by the last hurricane’s shoe choice.

Shoe expert, Aloysius Bundy, told Totally NOT Fake News what the footwear experts wished to achieve.

“We were looking for something that would keep her feet dry, and show that she is in control of the situation, all while presenting an air of humility. We also considered waterproof boots, but we can’t have the first lady looking like a commoner. We needed something that sends the message of being 'above' the situation.”

Having lead the assault upon Melania's shoe choice merely a week ago, Vogue magazine’s contributing editor Lynn Yaeger wasted no time in taking to the editorial page to once more excoriate the First Lady.

“It’s utterly disgraceful how the White House continues to fail to understand optics,” she writes this week. “Wood was fashionable three years ago, but no one is wearing wood anymore. It sends a message to those in Irma’s path that if she has no fashion sense, then how can she supply the proper clothing for those in need? Nor does she wear nearly enough makeup for a disaster situation like this.”

No one knows how the country will react to the First Lady's new shoes. While social media buzzes with speculation, the real extent of destruction won’t truly be ascertained until Irma makes landfall in Florida, and the First Lady heads out in her new shoes for the cameras.