Trump Recognizes Golan Heights To Get Netanyahu To Stop Copying His Ties

An agreement was reached yesterday between Trump and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu that promises to secure U.S. tie interests for years to come. Trump agreed to recognize the Golan Heights as part of Israel, and Netanyahu agrees to stop copying his ties.

Netanyahu has had a long history of showing up to meetings not only wearing the same outfit as Trump, but wearing it better. This oftentimes infuriates the president, and puts him off his negotiation game.

“No one wants to show up to talks, and see another world leader wearing the same thing. It’s embarrassing,” Trump said at a press conference following the event. “How can I be expected to concentrate on anything when all I can see is my tie being worn another guy's neck? It’s not good for America.”  

  Despite the intelligence community's best efforts to keep Trump's pre-meeting tie choices secret, Israeli intelligence agency, Mossad, has always seemed to be one step ahead, obtaining the President’s dress plans, and leaking them back to Israel in a deadly game of cat and mouse that has already claimed the lives of several spies on both sides.

The CIA even brought in Navajo Code Talkers to relay sensitive tie information in a way that Mossad would be unable to decrypt, but to no avail.

Netanyahu denies that the tie copying is a concerted effort on his part. However, it is well known that of the billions of dollars in U.S. aid sent to Israel each year, Netanyahu receives a $10 million wardrobe stipend. Sources close to the Prime Minister’s wardrobe indicate he likes to shop where Trump shops.  


Reports indicate that while Netanyahu has agreed to stop copying Trump's tie, he may start wearing a similar hairpiece until securing official recognition for the West Bank.

Corey Kealiher