Trump Awards Himself First Ever Presidential Shutdown Medal

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Halfway through his first term, Trump has already accumulated an impressive list of accomplishments: Most golf played, most rallies held, most executive firings, most scandals, most factual inaccurate speeches, and most protests against him. Now one more item is added to the expansive list – longest shutdown in history.

To celebrate the achievement, Trump awarded himself the first ever, Presidential Shutdown Medal during a press briefing he called to talk about the contentious wall.

When Trump opened the press briefing with a ceremonial bequeathing of the new Presidential Shutdown Medal, some in attendance were not impressed.

“That’s not a REAL award, you know,” commented CNN correspondent, and Trump’s media arch-nemesis, Jim Acosta.

“Well, Jim, I think it’s hard to make the case that it isn’t a real award when the real president of the United States is the issuing it,” Trump shot back, purposely reflecting the room’s light off the medal and into Acosta’s eyes.

“But you really just issued it to yourself,” Acosta continued, holding up a hand to shield himself from the blinding reflection.

“That’s right, Jim. I am the real President of the United States, and you’re not. That means I might know a little more issuing real awards than you do.”

Trump’s supporters, however, were thrilled to see their president reach yet another milestone.

“No doubt the liberal media will just ignore another tremendous presidential achievement,” said Trump’s National Campaign Manager, Brad Parscale. “They just can’t bring themselves to admit the president’s amazing accomplishments, even when he receives such a prestigious award from the president himself.”

As the shutdown chaos continues, the administration is working hard on a “Greatest Ever” Presidential medal, which is expected to also be awarded to Trump by Trump once he receives funding for the border wall.