Snopes Collapses into Black Hole Under Weight of SOTU Factual Inaccuracies
Barraged by wave after wave of misleading statements, fact checkers at Snopes worked furiously during Trump’s State of the Union address on Tuesday, yet were unable to keep up with the deluge of inaccuracies and exaggerations. The results were devastating for the Internet’s most popular fact checking site. The build-up of gibberish flowing from the president’s mouth built up a level of mass unlike anything seen before online, eventually collapsing in on itself and creating black hole that now threatens all truth.
Few of Snopes’ fact checkers escaped with their lives. Their stories are as heroic as they are horrifying.
The first hint that something was horribly wrong occurred just 4 minutes into the president’s two-hour speech. Snopes employee, Mackenzie Collins, gives us the details.
“At one point early on, my fingers were moving so fast, trying to keep pace with Trump, that my fingers just burst into flames. It melted down my keyboard rendering it inoperable.”
At this point, Mackenzie has to fight through the tears in recalling the traumatic experience. “As I left my work station to use the fire extinguisher on my fingers, and get another keyboard, that’s when I noticed what looked like the apocalypse unfolding in our offices.”
Reports from survivors tell of monitors exploding, more fires erupting, people screaming, and blinding smoke – a warzone where the truth and lie battled it out. As Snopes’ servers began melting down under the sheer weight of the factual errors they processed, that’s when it appeared.
“It looked like a tiny black orb that began growing in the center of the server banks,” reports IT guy, Jubali Johannes, who was also working that night. “It began to grow, and as it did, it began sucking things into it – small things at first like sheets of paper. But within just a few more minutes of the president speaking, it was sucking in people, too.”
“I remember my friend Janice being sucked into the blackness, and I tried to hold on,” Mackenzie sobbed. “But eventually she was ripped from my hands, and I just ran.”
And the bad news doesn’t end there. The black hole is currently gaining strength every time Trump speaks.
NASA director, Dr. Hubert Farnsworth heads a research team that has been closely monitoring other fact checking outlets, and reports relayed to NotYourPrez.com are grim.
“At this point Politifact has been pulled into the event horizon, and FactCheck is close behind it. At this rate, the internet will be without all fact checking sites by April.”
At that point, Trump will be able to say anything he wants without anyone available to set the record straight.