Trump Hopes to Harness Power of Wall Building
President Trump took some time to visit Jerusalem’s Western Wall during his Middle Eastern Tour, becoming the first sitting president to do so. Close aides immediately decried the move, fearing that this will lead to yet one more thing they will have to listen to the president brag about at White House parties. Jewish guides warned Trump, however, that he would be unable to approach the wall in his trademark ‘Make America Great Again’ cap, but only by donning the yarmulke. Not having a yarmulke immediately at his disposal, Trump took the opportunity to impress his Jewish friends by negotiating with a nearby peasant boy for his yarmulke.
In the end, Trump secured the item for 84 cents, down from the $2.50 the boy wanted for the item, and proudly declared that he is always looking to save taxpayer money.
FOX News investigative reporters on the scene learned that the boy had not read “Art of the Deal”.
They also learned that yarmulkes cost approximately 50 cents.
Once at the wall, Trump would spend several minutes whispering to it, and rubbing it – lovingly tracing out it’s contours with a tenderness that made on-looking Melania furious with jealousy, and lending credence to the rumors that Trump intended to divorce his third wife to marry the wall.
“It’s obvious this wall has magic powers,” Trump said later of his visit. “Every president comes here at some point to get the Jewish wall power. It made Bill Clinton irresistible to women, and it gave Obama the power of not needing a birth certificate. I just want the power of the wall itself. The power to make the best wall. I want a wall better then this one. ”
“Go visit Israel sometime,” Trump concluded, “tell me how many Mexicans you see there? I want Jewish leaders coming to America to touch my wall, and pray at it. And they won’t be wearing those silly pancake hats, either, they’ll be wearing Make America Great Again hats.”